A gospelypso for Patrick
07 February 2002, 679 words
Well, it's that time once again, when I write my annual calypso. I
usually do this after the Carnival, because I don't want to embarrass
all those calypsonians who can't even write a real rhyme or whose
vocal range doesn't extend beyond two octaves (i.e. 95 percent of
them). But this year is different. Not one calypsonian has seen fit
to sing a calypso critical of the PNM and Patrick Manning, and I
thought I should fill the gap, because filling gaps (and other kinds
of empty spaces) is one of my favourite hobbies.
And there certainly seems to exist an airy gap between the ears of
many calypsonians. What other conclusion can I come to when one
calypsonian sings that banning corporal punishment will create more
young criminals and another that douglarisation is against the laws
of God and Nature? Such baseless tripe is bad enough, but what is
worse is when Manning has offered such great material for political
picong and not one calypsonian has grabbed this treasure.
Indeed, as a sometime satirist, I was worried when the UNC went
out of office, because I could always depend on them to supply me
with jokes. But I must say that, within the few weeks he has been in
power, Manning has exceeded my wildest expectations. Here, then, is a
calypso which no calypsonian has sung, but which I'm willing to sell
for a reasonable price, VAT included.
A tie-up man
- Lyrics by KB, Copyright ©2002
- Patrick is a man who study geology
- But a politician he became,
- That didn surprise nobody
- Because he always had rocks for brains.
- CHORUS: So wave your Hinn, wave your Hinn!
- Let the Holy Spirit in, in,
- Cast out original sin, sin
- And throw Panday in the dustbin!
- Patrick is a tie up man
- And a tie up man is he,
- He thanking God for victory
- When he should be thanking Robbie.
- REFRAIN: Tie me to thy side, O Lord
- With thy Divine leash and dog-collar.
- Faithfully shall I serve Thee, O God,
- Now that I can unleash the country's tax
- Patrick ent no good at arithmetic
- But he real cunning at craft,
- He get eighteen outa thirty-six
- And say he have the bigger half.
- CHORUS: Wave your Hinn, wave your Hinn!
- Put a spin, put a spin,
- Hire your kin, hire your kin,
- Pretend you win win win!
- Only eighteen Patrick get, still he build big Cabinet,
- He feeling so high, he give Hazel a bligh,
- He throwin fete, he making threat,
- Yes, he sun rise high on a balisier tie.
- CHORUS: Wave yuh tie, wave yuh tie
- Gih Lenny a bligh, gih Gift a bligh
- Leh Panday cry, cry cry
- Patrick high like de sky sky sky.
- Patrick is a tie up man a tie up man
- From head to toes he getting blows,
- He doin stupidness, he getting licks,
- Is no wonder he have to rub Aloes.
- REFRAIN: Tie me to thee, O Lord,
- I like the feeling I get.
- Lash me with thy Divine Whip
- So I wouldn go to fete.
- He hire a Security Minister
- Who shoot heself in de foot,
- Because whenever Patrick open he mouth
- In he foot self he does put.
- CHORUS: Wave your Hinn (jump up) wave your Hinn (jump
- Patrick born again born again
- Tie yuh tin cup tie yuh tin cup,
- Patrick have God, he eh need a brain!
- Patrick have spirituality and morality
- So he hire Muslimeen for URP,
- Everybody say wha happen to he,
- How come Abu didn tie he in 1990?
- CHORUS: Wave yuh pole, wave yuh pole
- Put two finger in yuh nose-hole, hole
- Call the score, call the score, the score,
- Patrick boy workin better than before!
- Patrick only going to revival
- To pray that his term never ends,
- He depending on God for survival,
- And to keep him riding in Mercedes Benz.
- CHORUS: Wave yuh Hinn, wave yuh Hinn!
- Patrick's future he did foretell,
- Manning is the man in
- So tell all dem Hindu to go to Hell!
Copyright ©2002 Kevin Baldeosingh