21 July 2000, 1052 words
abandon v.t.what one does with principles after attaining office
anil n.a yapping creature with a tiny brain; ideal supporter
bore n.someone who speaks in the Lower House
bray n. & v.sound of someone who speaks in the Lower House
carnival n.atmosphere of Lower House, but without bikini costumes
clause - irrelevant legislation inserted in Bills to take away constitutional rights
cutlass n.device used in debate
diarrhea n.content of all election campaign speeches
discard v.t.what one does with grassroots supporters until the next election
education n.a useful political slogan
equality n.useful slogan for removing democratic rights
erode v.t.what you do with democracy through Clause Seven
express n.newspaper enemy
fable n.political speech, with animals
fascism n.political system noted for its efficiency and effectiveness
feasible a.any project which has kickbacks
forget v.what one does with promises after election
future n.region inhabited by all promises
gag v.what Clause Seven is intended to do to critics
govern v.to ride in cars with police escort to cocktail parties; to make speeches; to do dem first
hang v.best method of fighting crime; also silencing critics
homosexual n.a person who does not deserve protection from discrimination
ice n.cubes of frozen water sometimes added to rum
illiterate a. & n.state of loyal party supporters
job n.paid position or office given to party supporters, especially rich ones who don't need it
judge n.obstacle to governance
justice n.obstacle to governance
kin n.most competent persons for jobs on State boards
kowtow v.effective method for getting job on State boards [see kin]
liberalism n.an ideology which attacks Government
logic n.an ideology which attacks Government
media n.main enemy of Government
meretricious a.Kamla Persad-Bissessar
nation n.other places, from which Indians and Africans came to Trinidad
nest n.that which is to be feathered
news n.half-truths, lies and innuendoes, except when coming from InfoVision or NBN
oath n.meaningless words recited upon assuming political office
obsequious a.an ideal Minister
offend v.that which Clause Seven will make illegal
oligarchy n.a parasitic group to be criticized before becoming Prime Minister, and joined afterwards
pastor n.a Trinidadian intellectual
psychic n.a Trinidadian political analyst
qualification n.family relation; personal friend; having money
question v.unpleasant habit of journalists and Opposition MPs
rabble n.agents for doing dem first [see govern]
remunerate v.to give multi-million-dollar contracts to party investors
sabotage n. & v.explanation for failure of Indian rice deal
scathe v.action performed upon anyone who criticizes the Government
scheme n.investment which is feasible and lucrative
school n.a building used for winning votes
sip v.incorrect way of drinking
slime n.ethnic newspaper columnists
slogan n.a self-praising phrase, which may or may not be true (usually not)
slur n. & v.Political Leader's usual manner of speech (diction, content)
sneer n. & v.Political Leader's usual expression when speaking to reporters
statistics n.device used to prove lies
strike n. & v.to cease work as protest, an act which became wrong after Political Leader became Prime Minister
tax n.money paid by citizens to Government to provide essential services; money wasted by Government
thrift n.a virtue the Government advises citizens to practise and does not itself
treason n.act of writing articles critical of Government; investigative reports [see express]
tribunal n.body intended to bypass judiciary [see equality]
twist n. & v.Ramesh Lawrence Maharaj
unanimous a.all Cabinet decisions, especially those requiring principled dissent [see clause]
underground n.location of all critics of Government and religion if Clause Seven becomes law
unity n.slogan to get votes from dem creole
vague a.prime quality of legislation that erodes constitutional rights [see clause]
vengeance n.reason for making political decisions
victim n.ethnic activist [see slime]
vote v.action that takes place once every five years and changes nothing
vow n.lie spoken in order to win vote
waste n. & v.effective fiscal strategy
wealth n.quality required to get men's respect and women's bodies
x n.loyal supporter for electoral list
Xmas n.pre-election budget
X-ray n.what Government contracts and civil servants' pants are impervious to
yap n. & v.sound made by loyal supporters [see anil]
yawn n.& v.reflex caused by sitting in Parliament on Friday
zero n.total brainpower in Cabinet
Copyright©2000 Kevin Baldeosingh