3 November 2000, 871 words
abdominals n. muscles usually concealed below fat
account n. & v. where bribes, kickbacks and other Government officials' unofficial earnings are kept; also what Parliament does not do to public
beat v. method of displaying husbandly affection
bilna n. instrument for rolling roti and displaying affection
canvass v. unpleasant but necessary exercise undertaken once every five years
cash n. requirement for government projects; also to buy contracts for same (see account)
caste n. most effective social order even devised (see Hindutva)
dark n. what public would be in if Government could pass necessary media laws
demagogue n. respected and admired leader
ear n. that which is given to rich investors and denied to ordinary citizens
echo n. typical mode of speech of loyal supporters (see ventriloquist)
editor n. racist, enemy, liar
election n. inefficient method of attaining power, unless one controls EBC (see pad)
fair adj. attractive woman; also what elections should not be (see pad)
fee n. payment for granting contracts, bypassing tenders (see cash)
garble v.t. what one does with McKay report
gas n. plentiful energy source found in ground and on political platforms
hair n. reliable indicator of voting tendencies
Hindutva n. sociopolitical system favoured by fanatic supporters
hypocrisy n. essential attribute of successful politician
idiot n. member of a large and loyal constituency (see Hindutva)
illegal adj. an act which Ramesh cannot hide or argue against (see sheriff)
immunity n. that which most Government Ministers have against illegal acts
implement v.t., n. useful term to make it seem Government Minister is doing something; ergo, item used in sod-turning ceremonies
insurrectionist n. a fabulous beast useful for creating paranoia
jack n. slang term for foolish person; also for man who speaks complete nonsense with a lisp
john n. slang term for toilet; also for man who paves illegally
karma n. explanation of misfortune used for of lessening guilt/responsibility of the more fortunate (see Hindutva)
kleptomania n. a malady that overcomes many politicians when they win office
ladder n. sexual device
laughter n. creole political weapon
maladroit adj. most effective Minister (see sheriff)
malfeasance n. act done by efficient Minister (see john)
mandir n. temple of God and place for Political Leader to make election speeches; also to worship same (see Hindutva)
masses n. those who must be fooled
nap n. refreshing sleep, usu. taken by MPs in Lower House
narrow adj. state of mind of loyal supporter, often matched by shoulders
neat adj. proper way to drink rum or scotch
obeah n. a magical system to win votes from dem creole
occasion n. a reason for drinking rum and scotch
officious adj. appropriate manner of Trade Minister
pad v.t. what one does with voting lists
panchyat n. Cabinet clique with real power (see cash, Hindutva)
partner n. most qualified person for official posts
pitch n. & v. device used to win elections, sometimes illegally (see john)
quack n., adj. & v. ignorant pretender to skill (e.g., engineering); to talk pretentiously (e.g., trade); to puff or advertise extravagantly (e.g., NBN)
quid pro quo n. airport contracts, Ministerial posts, State Board jobs
race n. most effective political device
reading v. an undesirable skill that allows easy access to newspapers
reality n. that which most Ministers are not in touch with
sacrosanct adj. all pronouncements made by Political Leader
sheriff n. one who carries gun, wines badly, doesn't respect the law
stupid adj. Government Minister who does not put bribes/kickbacks into Swiss account
tabula rasa n. state of mind of loyal supporters (see idiot)
tamarind n. tree whose branches make excellent device for showing affection (see beat, bilna)
tap v. best method of getting information from Government
undeniable a. a non-existent concept for any politician
underachieve v.i. actual accomplishments of Ministers, inversely proportional to what they claim to have achieved
values n. qualities which change according to whether one is in Government or Opposition
ventriloquist n. Political Leader, who can make many dummies repeat his words
volte-face n. Ramesh Lawrence Maharaj (see values)
vote v. objectionable exercise in democracy, fortunately mitigated by ethnic loyalty
web n. tangled device weaved by all politicians and many lawyers
white adj. complexion of people most suited for legal and financial consultation, except on hanging and accountability
win v. & n. what must be done at all costs (see pad)
x.i. abbr. what one lives on after demitting political office (see account)
youth n. person to be fooled with free fete and bogus secondary education (see masses)
zealous adj. description of Minister who bypasses tendering procedures and other legalities (see john)
Copyright©2000 Kevin Baldeosingh