27 June 2002, 860 words
I wouldn't mind being an exemplar. The hours are good, you get invited to the best cocktail parties and, if I am to believe Independent Senators Ken Ramchand and Mary King, people even laugh at your stale jokes.
Mind you, I am well aware that being an exemplar has its downside. You can't dance the Funky Chicken, do mime, or wear yellow trousers. But these sacrifices are far outweighed by the advantages. This is best demonstrated by our society's most prominent group of exemplars, the Independent Senators.
First off, being an Independent Senator makes you morally invulnerable - a sort of spiritual Superman but without the Kryptonite. As Senator Professor Ken Ramchand put it the other day, after a Presentation College student asked him to justify his Senatorial salary when Parliament was prorogued, "It is disrespectful when people ask what we are doing. The standing that independent senators have achieved over the past 15 years should have made that question unnecessary. I don't even want to justify what I am doing."
Honestly, I don't think Jesus Christ, Krishna or the Prophet Muhammad could have put it any better. And none of them even made $8520 a month just for going around the place and hearing people talk.
Attorney Senator Dana Seetahal is an even better example of an exemplar than Ramchand. Apart from promising to give her entire Senatorial salary to charity, Senator Ms. Seetahal has offered a justification for keeping her appointment. "Many people in our society are still voiceless," wrote Senator Seetahal in her Guardian column of June 23. "With any luck, they can learn something from the expression of diverse views put forward in a civilised manner."
Though Seetahal ended her column by announcing the Senators' next forum at the POS City Hall, nobody showed up. Maybe they didn't like being described as barbarians with laryngitis. But doesn't make Senator Seetahal any less of an exemplar, especially when you remember that, since she is giving her Senatorial cheques to charity, she must be paying all the expenses for these meetings out of her own pocket and no doubt has had to cut down drastically on lipstick and lobster thermidor. Of course, as Professor Senator Ramchand says, it would be disrespectful even to ask Senator Seetahal what charities her $8520 is going to.
Indeed, it is that same exact insult which caused economist Senator Mary King to resign as chairman of the Trinidad and Tobago Transparency Institute. The TTTI directors had asked Senator King to make a public statement on what she intended to do with her salary. Arguing that she had broken no law, Senator King said, "It is my personal, moral and spiritual business how I dispose of my legal property."
This statement clearly shows the high value Senator King places on morality and spirituality and hats. Indeed, her moral fibre (gotten no doubt by eating Quaker oats) is so great that, in her resignation statement, she didn't even criticise a TTTI statement issued in March this year where the organisation called on Hazel Manning to resign as Education Minister because "there can be the perception that domestic considerations may come into play in the conduct of government affairs".
Since neither Prime Minister Patrick nor Mrs. Manning had broken any law, it is obvious that Senator King, who was chairman at the time, must have vehemently disagreed with this statement. But, no doubt out of moral commitment to TTTI, she said nothing then and still says nothing now. Could you or I display such moral fortitude? Not without drinking many protein shakes and wearing clean underwear, I bet.
The quieter Senators, who have said absolutely nothing about earning a salary for doing absolutely nothing, are also noteworthy exemplars. Senator Dr. Ramesh Deosaran's reputation speaks for itself, it's getting it to shut up that's the problem. A psychologist so brilliant he doesn't even have to read the latest research, he has written nearly all the leading local texts on social psychology, as shown by the fact that they're all on the book list for the course he teaches at UWI.
As for Senator Mrs. Parvatee Anmolsingh-Mahabir, she shows that you don't need a high public profile in order to become a Senator. All you have to do is be a dedicated teacher and marry a physician who treats the highest in the land.
So, with the example of the Independent Senators before me, I can now figure out how I, too, can become a leading exemplar. The required qualifications, it seems, are as follows:
- A good income, but not so good it stops you taking a few additional thousands for little or no work.
- A supercilious manner, plus a love for hats or three-piece suits.
- A large and well-padded bottom , suitable for sitting many long hours.
And, now that I've made this list, I see that I will never be an exemplar in Trinidad and Tobago. I prefer to earn my income, hate both suits and hats, and I have a cute ass. Ah well: I guess I'll just have to settle for being a reprobate for the rest of my life.
Copyright ©2002 Kevin Baldeosingh